Here are a few of my favorite soprano saxophone jokes. And I think Bill likes them too!
A soprano player goes up to a jazz critic and says, "Hey, did you review my last CD?
The jazz critic says,"Yes, I sure hope so." Ouch!
Q; What is the range of the soprano sax"
A: The world record is about 57 yards.
Q. If you threw a Yamaha soprano and Selmer soprano off the top the Empire State Building, which one would hit the ground first?
A. Who cares!
Q; What's difference between a Kenny cassette and a Kenny G CD?
A: The cassette makes a crunchy sound when you step on it.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the soprano sax when you borrow it.
Q: What is the difference between Kenny G and a machine gun?
A: The machine gun repeats only 10 times per second.
Q: What is the difference between a soprano saxophone and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
Q: How many in-tune soprano sax players can you fit into a phone booth?
A: All of them.
Q: How do you get two soprano sax players to play in perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
Q: Why do soprano sax players drive around with their sax cases in their back windows?
A: For the handicapped parking.
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune soprano sax player, an out-of-tune soprano sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune soprano sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the soprano saxophone, but doesn't!
Q: How many soprano sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Steve Lacy would have done it.
Q: What do you call 1,000 soprano saxophonists at the bottom of the bay?
A: A good start.
Q; What's the difference between a soprano saxophonist and a vacuum cleaner?
A: A vacuum cleaner doesn't suck until you plug it in.
Q: What is the difference between a soprano sax and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop a soprano sax into little pieces.
Please check out my book Life Lessons from the Horn and my new CD, Sopranoville.
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